2015

2014 has been an incredible year. One where I've learned and grown and braved new ventures and explored. It's a year that I've bottled up goodness and happy and stockpiled them right here for all to see. I've lightly let go of people and relationships that needed to be loosed, and come to terms with that being a necessary part of life. I've realized that I will always be aspiring to more, but that I'm good with who I am and where I am. I've fallen into a beautiful place of peace, a place, where I know what is most important and what I really desire in my heart of hearts, and I see that I have it already, and that makes life pretty sweet.

I'm not big on resolutions as I never keep them, so all I will really say is that I hope to continue learning and doing. That I take the lessons and happiness I found this year and carry it over. That I fight to stay present and calm for these beautiful little wilds I have in my charge, and I selfishly hope theres more travel in the coming year. Traveling as a crew as crazy as it can be, is a big dream of mine. We've got to do more this past year then ever before, and I so wish the trend carries on.

I want to thank you readers for coming here, for your kind comments,and thoughtful emails. You have been such an intregal part of the goodness this year has brought me, and I'm so grateful to you. I hope 2015 is a year filled with excitement and adventure for all of us. Happy New Year! 

Christmas Day- Part 1

I had visions of what christmas day would be like dancing around in my head. Daydreams of the six of us snuggled up cozily reading book after book, legs and arms weaved together and a mess of blankets all jumbled on the couch as we watched christmas classics on the small screen, all intermixed with snacks, treats and delicious warm drinks.

It was nothing like that.

I have lovingly taken to call my brood- the wilds, because- well, that is who they are. There's a lot of them and they rare to never sit still, and quiet they are not! So, I'm not really sure who's family I was picturing in my head, but it certainly was not mine.

That being said- it was hands down the best Christmas I have ever had! Better than I could have planned and dreamier than the ones I imagined. We adventured, we were active, we played, we imagined, we created- we enjoyed.

It was a tradition in my childhood home to make Christmas last all day. We would start with stockings, have some breakfast, open a couple presents (one at a time), go play together, open a few more and so on and so forth, til you opened your final present right before bed. For me, this is the way it should always be done, and how we have continued operating in my own home.

The wilds woke up and we dove right into stockings, examining each piece, taking the time to check out each others riches, before finally moving on to our breakfast feast. For the next round- we brought out their big gifts- a kitchen for Aussie, a dirt bike for Zain, and a pocketknife for Isaac. Each child was so genuinely ecstatic about their gifts. I can't even describe how much fun it was, just sheer happiness all around.

We spent the next few hours with lessons in knife wielding and biker safety, and plenty of time spent in the little kitchen dreaming up all kinds of deliciousness. 

Kaleb and I could not get over how well Zain did- he was so wildly brave! On his first attempt, his legs were shaking and his eyes wide, completely quiet he climbed on, his time had come to put Daddys instructions into practice. I have to tell you, I was so nervous. I've not been around dirt bikes and hardly know how to even ride a bicycle, so this is quite new to me. My heart was pounding and I had a huge knot in my tummy as he revved the engine and took off. The kid, was amazing, such a natural. The rest of us were so excited- running around behind him, cheering him on, excitement thick in the air- it was a moment. . . an incredible one.

After he had had a few go's, he hopped off and came to stand next to me. Helmet and goggles still in place, and with a gloved hand he held mine- staring straight ahead at his bike, he said "this is the best gift I've ever got," and like the sap I am, I started balling. Tear after tear dripping down my face as the impact of what an incredible day it had been and what a beautiful life we have, hit me. Sweet little kiddo, he had no idea what was going on, which then just got me giggling.

After a quick look at the time, we realized it was going on four o'clock and we still hadn't taken our annual christmas hike, or ventured inside to open another gift. There was still so much goodness left to come, but I'll tell you all about that tomorrow!

Jojanneke's 70% forced prostitutes is a lie

Numerous times she's claimed it already. According to Jojanneke van den Berge 70% of the girls working behind the windows are forced. These are numbers from the Public Prosecutors (Openbaar Ministerie) she claims. When asked for a source about this, she refers to her documentary. But of course a documentary isn't a report, a documentary is simply something that might mention a report, but it doesn't show it. So the question remains what her source is. The fact that after repeated asking for it, she only keeps referring to her documentary tells us two things.
She doesn't have a source of is scared to show it, because it probably won't support what she's claiming. And secondly, she wants to get famous, which is why she keeps referring people to watch her documentary, in stead of coming up with some real facts and not false claims.

But after a long search with my boyfriend, we were able to uncover the statistics she based this claim upon. And shocking fact is, the only two things true about what she claims, is the fact that is mentions a number of 70% and that it's originated from the Public Prosecution Office. And those are about the only two things that are true about her claims, because if you take a closer look at what it says, you'll find out it's something completely different from what Jojanneke van den Berge claims.

To begin with I'll refer to the origins of this statistic, which can be found here on the website of the Nationaal Rapporteur in Holland. The article is about new statistics about human trafficking and they are based upon the statistics of the Public Prosuction Office (OM) and CoMensha, the organisation which counts all the 'possible' victims.

"In 2012 en 2013 kwam de rechter in ruim 70% van de zaken tot een veroordeling voor mensenhandel."

Translation:
"In 2012 and 2013 over 70% of the human trafficking cases in court came to a conviction."

That is what it literally says on the website of the Nationaal Rapporteur. These are also the only statistics to can be found which mention 70% that originate from the Public Prosectution Office. There are simply no other documents to be found that mention 70% in combination with forced prostitution or human trafficking that originate from the Public Prosectution Office, or any other source for that matter. So either Jojanneke has found some secret, hidden document that nobody knows about, except her and the Public Prosectution Office, but I highly doubt that. Or these are the statistics she's referring to, which explains why she's so reluctant to give away the source, since that would undermine everything that she's claiming.

So why is Jojanneke wrong with her claims? Well, first of all, she repeatedly claims the 70% are only about window prostitution and nothing else. This is false! These numbers are about all human trafficking, and not solely those from window prostitution. This already gives her one reason not to give us the real source, since she knows it doesn't hold up. But this isn't the most shocking false claims she's making.

Secondly, she claims that 70% are forced. which is again false, since forced prostitution is only one type of human trafficking. Like I've explained extensively in this post here, not all human trafficking is forced prostitution. Human trafficking consists out of basically two types: forced prostitution and exploitation. These are two different things not to be confused with each other, even though for the law they fall under the same category.
Besides, most cases in court regarding human trafficking are about exploitation and not forced prostitution at all. So to claim all of those 70% are about forced prostitution is simply false. Some part could be about forced prostitution, but the numbers never specify exactly what part of these numbers are about forced prostitution versus which part are about exploitation. Therefor it's impossible to claim these are only forced women. Especially considering the fact that most cases attorneys handle are about exploitation and not forced prostitution at all, this furthermore supports the fact that a large majority of this 70% are exploitation victims and not victims of forced prostitution, like how Jojanneke claims.

But most important is the fact that this 70% is only based upon the cases that see court. In short, this is not based upon the total number of prostitutes working in Holland, or those working behind windows. This is based ONLY upon all the court cases in Holland, and not those who never go to court. Obviously the number of trafficking victims that go to court are much higher than those who do not, since there must be reason why they go to court in the first place.
Basically this 70% is not a percentage about how many girls are forced into prostitution, but it's a conviction rate. This conviction rate shows in how many of the court cases someone get's convicted versus how many are not getting convicted. This says nothing about how many girls are forced behind the windows, but only about how many people that go to court for human trafficking cases get convicted in the end.

To give you an example, let's say there are 1200 cases of sexual assualt in Holland (rape, but also lighter forms of sexual assaults, like sexual harassment for example), and from those 1200 cases 900 are found guilty and therefore convicted. That would mean that 75% of the cases lead to a conviction. Just like how 70% of the court cases about human trafficking lead to a conviction. This however doesn't automatically mean that 75% of the women in Holland get raped, which is how Jojanneke presents things. In short, not 70% behind the windows are forced, but 70% in court are found guilty. This is something completely different from what Jojanneke claims.

This means that 70% says nothing about how many women are forced behind the windows. And how could they? The Public Prosectution Office has never been in Amsterdam's Red Light District to take a look or to do research, since that's not their job. The job of the Public Prosectution Office is to deal with court cases, not to do research on how many girls are forced in the field, that's the job of CoMensha, the police and the KMar (marshals). And that's also exactly what they did because the only thing they did, was count the total number of trafficking cases, and calculate how much of those court cases end up in a conviction.
So these numbers are conviction rates, not statistics about how many girls are forced. And these numbers are certainly not solely based upon just window prostitution, even though Jojanneke claims that is the case. Also she claims this is about how many girls are forced, while that's not the case at all, since these are numbers on trafficking and not just forced prostitution alone.

Fact is that Jojanneke her claim: '70% of the girls working behind the windows are forced', is absolutely false on so many different levels. The number doesn't speak about how many girls behind the windows, but how many court cases. The number doesn't speak about how many are forced, but how many are trafficked. And the number doesn't give any indication as to how many women are forced in Holland, but how many court cases lead to a conviction.

Shocking though, is the fact that numerous media publish this information without checking the facts. Feminist magazine Opzij published this false information without checking it in an article here, as well as countless other media did. But even newspaper De Telegraaf published this information without checking the facts in an article here.
It is remarkable how media copy Jojanneke her words, and without checking these facts, and presenting them to the public. Especially considering the fact that recently newspaper Trouw fired one of it's journalists, Perdiep Ramesar, for using untraceable sources. Also his articles mostly were about human trafficking and prostitution (what a surprise, right?). And of course this is not the first person who got caught lying about prostitution, since we already have people like Patricia Perquin and Maria Mosterd who were exposed to be frauds.

How much longer do we have to wait for the media, for journalists, for editors, to wake up? How much longer do we have to wait before they start checking their facts before publishing them? Especially since there have already been so many people who have been lying about prostitution. Shouldn't their ring a bell, whenever someone comes with these kind of 'horrifying' stories about forced prostitution by now?

So media, wake up! Check your facts! Don't believe whatever stories people tell, check the facts for yourselves before publishing it! You've had plenty of examples by now, to prove that people are lying about prostitution in a negative way. So whenever someone comes with some story about how bad things are about prostitution, you first check the facts and the sources!
And of course the EO isn't going to check the facts of Jojanneke. Why should they? She's claiming things which play right into the cards of more conservative Christians, which is to spread negative stories about prostitution, in hopes to make it illegal. This is exactly what they want, and this is also the reason they hired Jojanneke van den Berge, since she was already against prostitution to begin with, just like the EO itself.

How much longer will people believe the bullshit about prostitution? How much longer will people keep blind to all the lies that are spread? How many more writers, journalists and reports have to get fired because of fraud and untraceable sources, before people begin to realize these stories are just fabricated to criminalize prostitution, in stead of helping victims of trafficking.
For how long are you going to stay blind to this? Are you going to sit around, read this post, and move on with your life? Or are you going to stand up against this injustice, and share this article, so that everyone can read the lies people spread about my job and my workplace? Stand up and fight! Fight against the corruption, the corruption in the media who are protecting liars out of moral and political motives. Fight against the corruption in the politics, who are not interested in you, but in themselves and their own morals. You didn't really think they're making human trafficking laws to make things better for us, did you?

Share this article, and let Jojanneke answer for the lies she's been spreading. Let her prove where here statistics come from, if she has any. Because as far as the facts go, there is no number of 70% the Public Prosectution Office mentions that are about forced prostitution, besides how many court cases lead to a conviction. So, Jojanneke, if you have any proof, bring it to the table! If not, you're just another liar like Perdiep Ramesar, Maria Mosterd and Patricia Perquin, gaining fame over false stories about my job and my workplace.

Dutch version

Sojourn Thru a Concrete Jungle

Kaleb and I are taking our crew to Chicago for a little post holiday adventure!! Yay- I am so excited! This will be our first time ever really exploring a city with kiddos, which means it's been a long time for the both of us too. 

It seems the teensiest bit scary with a bundle of small children in tow, there is so much unknown. Which, if you take away the daunting aspect of it all, is really quite thrilling.

In my head I've always thought I would be best suited for city life, but in reality, farm life is probably much more my pace. Still, this will be a perfect opportunity for a small sampling. 

We have plans to explore museums, ice-skate, sight see, and eat! I'm probably most excited about the food, but it all sounds quite dreamy.

If you have any recommendations for places to go and see or do or any ideas for traveling in a city with a gaggle of littles, send them my way!

Until then, hope your prepping and planning and holiday festivities were everything one could hope!

a holiday wish

So, yeah- this is my third year running to not get a Christmas card out- ridiculous. Do you know how tricky it can be to get a picture with all six of us- trust me, it is a feat. I quickly had my sister-in -law snap this before our family get together last weekend, and well, it's the best we got.

Anyhow, I'm so excited that it's all finally begun, whilst the tiniest bit heartbroken that it will be over soon also. It's such an incredible season- filled with so much sweetness.

I hope you enjoy the days ahead spent with friends, family and loved ones. Thank you so much for stopping here and reading my space day after day, it has meant the world. Merry Christmas and happy everything!

More bullshit about prostitution in Holland

I see it happen so many times, report after report comes out about human trafficking. By now the numbers reach from 90% to 5% and almost everything in between. The numbers show us basically one thing, that we don't know a damn thing about how the size is of human trafficking.
Yet, the anti-prostitution people keep claiming there's lots of it happening, even though they've never met one, otherwise of course it would be breaking news that a reporter or politician found a forced prostitute by him or herself. But since this never happens, all those people claiming these things, only claim these things based upon reports that state what they want to hear, and ignore other reports that state the opposite.
Truth is, we don't know. Nobody knows. Even the people claiming they know, they don't know. I wrote a while ago my personal estimations, but truth is, I also don't know. So, if some outsider claims to know it better, that just proves how ignorant they are, since even we, the sex workers themselves don't know it, and we're in the middle of it all!

But every once in a while there's some prostitution hating person who's found a platform to twist the truth about this, and make all sorts of false claims. Now for example Jojanneke van den Berge, a 'reporter' (if we can call it that), has found her place with the anti-prostitution TV-channel of the EO, to 'report' about how forced we all are in a 4 part documentary.
Sure, sure, Jojanneke, we can't even tell it from each other if we're forced after years, sometimes even decades of working here. But you, an outsider, has figured it all out in a matter of months what other journalists, politicians and decades worth of scientific researchers couldn't figure out. Of course this has nothing to do with the fact that you called prostitution 'idiotic' in one of your earlier interviews, and of course this also has nothing to do with the fact that the EO is a strict Christian channel who's known for it's frequent negative reporting on prostitution, because it against their Christian values.

Enlarging the negative, while keeping the positive small

Honestly, if people buy this shit, they're too far gone to safe. So I say let those people believe what they want, people who can't see past this bullshit aren't even worth talking to.
That doesn't take away however the fact that she does come up with some things that are interesting. For example she mentioned that she had numbers from the Public Prosecution Service (Openbaar Ministerie) about forced prostitution. First of all, the Public Prosecution Service doesn't have any statistics on how many forced prostitutes there are, all they do is count the number of court cases they have. Since they only deal with court cases (that's their job after all), they can never make any estimations, since they only deal with the victims, or 'possible' victims and never any non-victims. In other words, since they would never come across a sex worker who has no problems at all, they can never make any good estimations about how many girls aren't forced versus how many are.
For example, the only way you can make an estimation about how much percentage of green dots there are, is if you also have other dots to compare them to. But since Public Prosecution Service only deals with victims, they never come across any material to compare them to.

Funny thing though about how the Public Prosecution Service counts their statistics about trafficking cases (not about how many girls are forced, but other statistics about how many court cases etc.) is this. If the Public Prosecution Service has 10 human trafficking cases a year (meaning 10 suspects), but only 1 is actually guilty, the Public Prosecution Service will still count those other 9 as trafficking cases as well, meaning that they will still report them as if these are also legit cases. How do I know this? Well, fortunately I've talked with some good lawyers who were able to explain this to me. They are also very aware of how the Public Prosecution Service manipulates their statistics to crank up the numbers.
The idea behind counting this way, is that perhaps those people that did not get convicted could still be guilty, but they just couldn't prove it. Obviously this is a completely ridiculous way of counting things, since that would mean that any person who is being falsely accused of something is guilty no matter what. In short, completely bullshit, but since few people know about it, and it's the Public Prosecution Service, few people know this and have the guts to spill it out.

So where do these so called 'statistics' from Jojanneke come from, if not from the Public Prosecution Service? Well, there aren't that many places it could come from, since there's only one organisation in Holland that deals with statistics about human trafficking, and that's the Nationaal Rapporteur.
As I've talked about before, Marijke Vonk already wrote an excellent essay about how the Nationaal Rapporteur comes to these numbers. Counting innocent tourists and visitors to Amsterdam from so called 'source countries' (a.k.a. Romania, Bulgaria and Hungary), as 'possible victims' for no reason. Really? Yes, really, you can read the entire thing on Marijke her excellent blog here with examples to prove it.
On top of that comes the fact that these statistics are statistics on 'possible victims', meaning we're not sure if they're victims or not. They could be victims, perhaps, but we're not sure. And we're definetly not so sure anymore about it, after reading Marijke her research on this subject, which just shows that the definition of 'possible' is stretched out into the extreme, so far that you can't even call them 'possible' victims anymore. In fact, even I am being reported as a 'possible' victim for no reason, simply because I'm travelling from or to a source country, in this case Romania.
In short, these statistics say nothing about the number of real victims out there. These numbers are trying to give people an indication of how many girls COULD possible be a victim. They are not exact numbers about victims, since those numbers don't exist. Anyone using these numbers to prove how many girls are forced are just making themselves more ridiculous, since these numbers are near indications and not exact numbers, and not the best ones either.

But I'm not so much interested about the fact who they count as 'possible victims' or not, even though some of them are completely ridiculous. What is far worse, is the fact that Jojanneke presents these numbers as numbers of forced prostitution, which they are NOT.
How do I know? Well, for the very simple reason that there is no organisation in Holland that counts numbers of forced prostitutes. All numbers about prostitution regarding forced prostitution are called human trafficking. And human trafficking is much larger than just forced prostitution.
Like I've talked about in my previous post here, human trafficking is not just forced prostitution, but exploitation as well. And since exploitation cases have nothing to about being forced into prostitution, calling human trafficking numbers forced prostitution would be a false way of presenting facts. After all, most cases about human trafficking are about exploitation, and NOT forced prostitution. And more importantly, a victim of exploitation DID choose for prostitution voluntarily, they just were exploited doing so.
In most cases the victims of exploitation also continue their work during the court case, or continue their work in prostitution after the case is over. Being exploited doesn't mean these women don't like prostitution, or didn't want to work in prostitution, it only means someone is taking away their money and they don't agree with that and take those people to court. Not nice indeed, but this says nothing about the women their choices to work in prostitution.

Unfortunately this is not very well known among people, and sometimes not even among lawyers specializing in human trafficking. I've come across lawyers who didn't even know that exploitation is also human trafficking, and we had to explain to them that also exploitation is human trafficking, which I guess proves how little people know about it.
Most people think that human trafficking and forced prostitution are the same thing, which is definitely not the case. Forced prostitution is nearly one type of human trafficking, a much larger description of different types of crimes often associated with prostitution, but not solely happening in prostitution as they happen in other industries as well.

Interestingly enough, most human trafficking cases that see court are about exploitation and not about forced prostitution, as also several lawyers have confirmed. And that's also kind of logical, since forced prostitution simply doesn't happen as much over here, though still more than we all would like.
Fact is that in reality forced prostitution happens very rarely. In all my time working in Amsterdam's Red Light District I've never came across one single girl that is being forced. Only recently I've came across ONE girl, in my now nearly 5 years time, that used to be forced years ago. But guess what? She went back into prostitution after all, even though nobody forced her this time, simply to make good money. This proves that prostitution is not bad, and that even sometimes victims that were forced into this work, would have no problem to do this work if they weren't being forced into it.

I guess the most common cases of human trafficking would be 50/50 cases. Those are exploitation cases about girls who take the 50/50 deal. Those cases are about girls in need of assistance with their migration. But since the Dutch government so cleverly blocked any way of receiving any legal assistance with their migration, due to some law it seems, they have to turn to people willing to help them in an illegal way. Obviously few people risk to burn their hands on that, and this is the opening this government provides for the traffickers to come into play.
These people offer help to these girls with their migration, in exchange for 50% of their income during their stay. Essentially they're doing exactly they same thing as an unemployment agency does for other jobs, except that it's illegal. Why is it illegal again if unemployment agencies can do for other jobs? Well, simple, because it's about sex! The fact that it's also about work doesn't matter, people are still scared shit about sex, because apparently it's a huge taboo for many people. That's why!
Now, since these girls don't have any other options (why? because the fucking government blocked it, that's why!), the girls are basically forced to accept their help. And because they are more or less forced to accept these people their help, and they're making a lot of money on it, it's basically called exploitation, which falls under the human trafficking law.

So, there you have it people. Our own government is the one blocking the only other option girls have from avoiding human traffickers, with a law that ironically enough is meant to prevent human trafficking. But as usual, this is the way things work in prostitution. Politicians making laws to prevent human trafficking, that eventually only increase human trafficking in stead of reducing it, only because the politicians have trouble to embrace prostitution because some religious nuts and radical feminists have issues with it.
So if you're looking for the ones responsible for all those 'poor, sad girls' who have become victims of human trafficking, you only need to look at those people that throw up a blockade for prostitution to be accepted, so we can make laws that actually prevent human trafficking rather than creating it.
If for example the ChristenUnie and the SGP wouldn't make such a big deal about the government supporting people to step into prostitution, we could change those laws that force girls into the hands of traffickers, and we would be able to create laws that supports women to enter prostitution in a safe and legal way, taking away the need for the services these traffickers provide.

And about Jojanneke? I really don't care about her. I've asked around but no other girl has talked to her. She claims she's talked with a lot of prostitutes, yet nobody that I know from Holland's most famous prostitution area has either seen or heard of her. So whatever she's came up with, it isn't going to be a very realistic presentation about Amsterdam's Red Light District, even though we all know that's what 90% of this thing will be about.
But as usual, people rather avoid us than finding out the ugly truth. They'd rather live in a world in where they can believe that no girl would ever 'sell their body' for sex, rather than accepting the truth that sex isn't all that special, it's the person you do it with that makes it special. Accepting sex work as work doesn't change a damn thing about sex, just like selling food doesn't change a damn thing about the food itself. It's just sex people, get over it!
I'm not asking you to sell it, but don't tell me what I can or cannot do with my own body! Denying me the right to decide what I can do with my own body is taking away my rights to decide about myself, limiting women's choices because it deals with 'sex' and nothing else. This just proves still how women are even until today still being limited in their choices by other people, like for example feminist Renate van der Zee, who advocates heavily against prostitution.
Some feminist you are, Renate! Advocating against the right to decide about myself. You're only talking shit about my job, in hopes that my job will become illegal, meaning you're advocating against my choice of doing with my own body what I want to! What did you say feminism was about again? About improving women's rights?!

Jojanneke her documentary about prostitution will be nothing more than a promo for the ChristenUnie, since the EO is basically a ChristenUnie TV channel. Promoting that sex work is bad, girls only do this because they are forced, and the ones that do do this job voluntarily are just crazy bitches that are exceptions. That's much easier to accept than to accept the fact that sex doesn't have to be special, because that would seriously damage a lot of people their idea about what sex means to them, only because they think this is what sex means.
Sex is just sex, it's nothing special. It's like walking, kissing or farting. It's nothing special until you do it with someone that's special with you, and that's what makes sex special. Not the sex itself, but the person you do it with! And since my clients aren't special to me, since they're nearly my clients, sex with clients is never special. The only sex that I have that is special is with my boyfriend. It's completely different sex from the sex I have with my clients, and no client could ever get me or them the experience I have with my boyfriend. That's what makes it special!

Dutch version

Holiday Vittles

These last couple weeks have been filled with late nights, bustling bodies, holiday secrets, happy surprises and lots and lots of baking.

I am by no means a natural in the kitchen, but I am adventurous and nothing quite says Christmas like all the goodies that go along with it. 

The scents of cinnamon wafting thru the home, flour dusted all over chubby hands and a mound of dishes that will take hours to complete. Surprisingly it all goes hand in hand in making this the most coziest of times.

This year will be our first to ever spend Christmas day just the six of us. It's exciting, but also quite daunting. I've spent many an hour searching, debating and agonizing over our Christmas menu. 

Finally, Kaleb and I decided on "hand food" for Christmas dinner. One of our wilds favorite things about the beach is that they get to eat "hand food" as they call it, every night. Shrimp, Mussels, Clams- food that requires no silverware, has some work involved and ends in smears of goodness allover faces and fingers that must be licked clean. 

Bearing that in mind- we have settled on Maple-Pepper Salmon Bites, a recipe Kaleb and I use to cook every week as newlyweds, but had completely forgotten about. As a side I'm thinking steamed artichokes with a selection of dipping sauces. I've never made them and the kiddos have never tried them, but it sounds like fun and something they might, possibly, if I'm lucky, enjoy- risky business, but I'll let you know how that one turns out! We also want to try these sweet potato pumpkin rolls. I realize they are pumpkins but they are so cute, with little notes tucked inside, they should pair perfectly with our theme. 

Now, onto the goodies. As I previously stated- there has been lots and lots of baking- here's some of our favorites and a few we will be attempting in the upcoming days!

- We made four batches of the Pioneer Woman cinnamon rolls, two batches of plain, and two of the orange rolls. I actually like the orange rolls so much better- not near as sweet, although I can still only eat just one. We froze them in batches and have given some away as gifts, but will definitely save some for our own Christmas morning.

- I hope to be cooking up this almond biscotti later in the week. I've tried to make biscotti before with little to no success, but hopefully this recipe will do the job!

- Kaleb really wants us to try a Buche de Noel for our Christmas dessert. There's an interesting history that goes along with it, and we thought it may be fun- although I'm quite worried we're  overshooting our skills on this one!

- I'm most excited about these gingerbread cookies from My New Roots- I love cooking with natural, simple ingredients and I hope these will be a hit. They are in the oven right now, so I can't say for sure how they will turn out- but my goodness, the batter is good!! 

- Of course, nothing says winter quite like hot cocoa, and as it's finally descended, I've been whipping up lots. I've tried many a recipe and my favorite and thankfully the simplest is to melt ghiradelli chocolate and caramel squares in milk. It's so yummy- not too sweet, not too chocolatey- just right.

I will so be needing a kitchen break after this week, but for now- I'm going to turn my christmas music up a little louder,   pull on those dish washing gloves and dance myself into a floury frenzy!

A Whole Lot of Happy

There has been a whole lot of happy here on the farm. I can honestly tell you that it's been quite wild. There have been moments when I've been so exhausted that all I wanted was to sit and cry. The excitement of the season has taken hold of my littles and they have been non-stop. Wild to the core. My bones are weary, my muscles sore- but my heart full. It seems near pushed to it's limit, bursting with love and a feeling I can't quite explain, but I know it's good. It seems a heady combination of contentment, peace, and maybe beauty.

Here's a few things that have made it all so grand.

On a hike thru the farm recently, Aussie and I stumbled upon a blown in strand of holiday tinsel. Nonchalantly, we placed it on an evergreen as we walked home- but then we got an idea, a lovely idea. We always take a big hike on our Christmas day, so we have sneakily bought and made ornaments and decorated the loveliest of Christmas trees right smack dab in the middle of our field. We are so excited to surprise everyone on our walk! She and I have stowed away candles and books and hope to make it the sweetest of traditions yet. 

Aussie has been asking for a kitchen for Christmas. I have not been so intrigued- they take up a lot of room, can be quite tacky, and I didn't really see her playing it with that much. Well, we really couldn't come up with anything else, she is definitely the hardest to buy for, so we decided to build her one. Kaleb has crafted her the cutest little play area, made of refurbished barn wood and old treasures we've garnered from Grandparents. I've spent my evening painting it, and not to toot my own horn, but it is so charming, I think she will love it! Plus, it can go outside come spring, so it's a win, win.

Little Eleanor, has been a bundle of mess lately. Getting into anything and everything. She simply cannot leave the presents under the tree alone, they beckon to her, taunt her, and she must, she simply must have them. It's been hilarious to see her crawling under the tree, debating and finally grabbing one and hustling away. She is going to be so fun come Christmas day, I can't wait to see her open gifts this year!

Kaleb and I had been hoping to find a little dirt bike for Zain this year. Yesterday, we came across an old and very used one that hopefully will be perfect. It has been hilarious to watch Kaleb- I swear, he's more excited than Zain will be. Every night after kids go to bed, he makes me bundle up and head out to the garage to tinker with it, and then proceeds to ride it all over the farm. I wish I had a picture, because it is too much! He has on a headlamp for light and even with his knees tucked completely up, his feet are still dragging the ground. Hopefully, Zain will be as thrilled to receive it as Kaleb is to give it!

Then there's the little things, the moments that add up to make it all the better. Snuggles by the fire place as we read book after book, the sweetness that snowbeard has brought us, each kid taking a turn staying up late to wrap gifts for each other, sitting at the table chatting away as everyone colors and crafts, all made cozier with treats and warm drinks. 

So, yes- there hasn't been much quiet or calm, but I know there will probably be too much of that in future Christmas's, so for now, I think I'll simply settle in- revel in the crazy, the noise and the slight chaos that is right now.

capturing the mundane

Lately, I've been in something of a photography rut. Just ever so slightly bored of the same settings and subjects (beautiful as they may be.) I find myself only wanting to tote out the camera when I have the perfect trifecta of interesting light, sane ensembles, and a smidgen of kitsch for good measure. Determined to beat these blues and get out of my comfort zone whilst getting in some extra practice, I strapped on the ole picture box with a plan to shoot all day. 

Here's what I ended with:

It was a good exercise. Showing me areas I definitely need to improve, and opening my eyes to capturing the little moments with less care to circumstance and presentation. Photography at it's core, is freezing time. It's a moment, that's captured forever. This was us, on an everyday, a typical day- and these simple days are great days, worthy of capturing as is.

Also, I wrote a post for Daydreams of Summertime, with some photography tips, getting started and some resources to help you find your way- you can find it here.  

p.s. a few of you were asking about my braid, it's a super easy fishtail I learned for my daughter, but ended up loving for my own, you can find the tutorial here.

The Legend of Snowbeard

While deep in the midst of assessing our Christmas this season- I happened upon a blog post that was so eloquently written and calling in it's simplicity. It was written by the lovely Kim of Mothering with Mindfulness  and based on a tradition she plans for her son involving a gnome bearing scrolls with daily wishes  to integrate into the day.

Straightaway, I knew this was what I had been hoping for. Now, I'm not ever going to be as thought out, organized and crafty as Kim is, so I knew I needed to let all preconceived notions about that go and find my own way. Kaleb assured me we could plan and be prepared for next year, but that simply would not do.

 

This is the trouble and the beauty that lies in parenthood. It's quick. The thought of it's passing can literally render me immobile, and the idea that I would need to wait a whole year, was too much to bear. I needed to partake now, lest another missed opportunity pass me by.

Blessedly, I had the perfect little elvish ornament, given to me by my Dad- which I had been saving for something. . . 

We dubbed the little man with rich white facial hair and golden attire Snowbeard, and as quick as that, we were on our way!

Each morning the feisty little fellow is hiding somewhere around the house, clue in hand as to what our treat may be for the day. We've kept it fairly elementary: crafts, hikes, fishing, slimes, baking, bonfires. Much would have been part of our festivities regardless, but this makes it so much more fun.

With the sun just barely peeking over the horizon- the sounds of wilds not too quietly traipsing around, reverberate thru the house. Occasionally, it brings them single file into our room to tap, tap, tap us on the shoulder. With a smile, I'll creak open an eye to peek. "Can we have a clue?" they chant as I pull my covers up higher and close my eyes tight. Out they go, the pitter patter of padded feet on the hunt again. This is all proceeded by a loud peel of jubilation as someone (usually Zain, that kid is a finding genius!) has finally spotted the illustrious Snowbeard- and I'm up.

This is one of those activities that posed the potential to be overwhelming, but it's been the complete opposite. It's carried a weight of ease and peace- Kaleb and I enjoying it every bit as much as the little bugs. It fit perfectly. Exactly what we had yearned for in a holiday, bringing us together in excitement and doing.

p.s. I love me some pinterest, but unfortunately rare to never have time to simply browse. Mainly, it's used as a tool to search for what I need. Regardless, a lot of the small art projects, slime, and dough recipes are on my board cleverly titled- Crafts. If you find yourself in quick need of simple ideas to entertain your wilds- help yourself.