Expat Friends - What Are they Worth?

Friends
Photo: Sanja Gjenero

When you are an expat your social circle is probably quite varied. How long you are living abroad, the circumstances that brought you to a new country and where you are living all contribute to the make-up of your friends abroad.

For my newsletter in June I wrote about the friends you make as an expat and how they compare to the friends you already have back 'home'. Here's an extract:

A recent expat survey conducted by the HSBC concluded that expat life in the Netherlands is not easy. The results claimed that it’s hard to learn the language, make friends and integrate into the local culture and community.


I ran a blog post on it back in May and the comments came pouring in from expats in the Netherlands, as well as Dutch readers.


It seems that many of the readers wholeheartedly agree with the survey conclusions. Making friends with the locals seems to be a real stumbling block and most people find themselves friends with expats, despite the effort they perceive they put in with the local people.


It’s an interesting topic – friendships when you’re an expat. Are they different to the friendships you form if you stay in your home country? Are the friends you make whilst you are abroad as close as the ones you have back “home”? Are they as long lasting? It got me thinking……

You can read the full post here and if you want future editions of the monthly newsletter Expats@Home delivered straight to your inbox you can sign up on the home page of www.thewritingwell.eu.

Learning Dutch - a Tip or Two

Gerrie Soede of Poldertaal

For my last Expats@Home newsletter I interviewed Gerrie Soede, a Dutch language tutor in The Hague, to get her viewpoint on the best way to learn a foreign language and of course she gave me some tips for those learning Dutch in particular.

The good news is that, given the right circumstances (and a bit of talent), you could be fluent in Dutch in three years. The bad news is that for some people fluency is something that will never be achieved. However, don't let that be a deterrent if you don't have a natural flair for languages. Gerrie says,

"Don’t give up trying and remember that communication is always more important than perfection. Learning the local language is important to feel at home and expand opportunities."

I asked her what the most difficult thing about learning Dutch is. Here's her response,

"That depends on your level. At each higher level you’ll meet other difficult things. The articles and verbs at level A1; structure of the sentences at level A2 and B1, combination of words later on."

In terms of good resources to learn Dutch? Gerrie is clear that you each student should have an idea about their own learning preferences and what works for them. She explains,

"You need to choose resources that meet your learning style and your goals. And that’s different for any individual. However, I like Code and De Delftse Methode for the first levels of learning Dutch."

To round up, here are some tips from Gerrie to help those of us in a constant state of Dutch language learning:

• Invest not only in reading but pay attention to listening 
• Dare to make mistakes 
• Invest in learning words and do not think that grammar is the most important
• Stop the locals talking English to you by telling them you don’t speak English..... no, seriously -  explain you want to practice
• Stop translating as fast as possible
• Meet native speakers as soon as possible

Most of all, Gerrie explains that it is vital to consider the fact that you are communicating as more important that getting it right all the time. Accept that you’re probably not perfect and you'll feel much more relaxed about learning Dutch.

Expats@Home - Monthly Inspiration from Expert Expats

For those of you who don't yet know about the Expats@Home newsletter I send out every month, this post is just for you.

Photo: Ilker, Turkey

I called The Writing Well newsletter "Expats@Home" because I felt that one of the main struggles of living overseas is feeling like home is always somewhere in the middle. By that I mean the longer you live away from your birth country, the less it feels like home every trip back you make. For most people a host country however, is also never 100% home because there is a different culture, language, climate or way of living, which never quite fits entirely. For me personally, whether I am in the Netherlands, which I do now consider my home, or whether I am back in England, there is always a little piece of the puzzle missing.

Delving into the local culture, language and society always helps you to feel a little more at home than staying on the outskirts. And that is what this newsletter is about; sharing the experiences of life as an expat, tips I have picked up from my journey as a foreigner in the Netherlands or learned from others - all so that others may feel a little more like an expat at home.


This year, I decided to team up with some expat experts to share top tips with you about getting the most out of expat life. Kate Berger shared her wisdom in February and Tara Agacayak shared inspirational words about creative careers this month. Next month, Gerrie Soede, a Dutch language teacher, shares top tips about learning a foreign language.

You can sign up for monthly inspiration at http://www.thewritingwell.eu/

Expat Challenges by Kate Berger

Kate Berger, an expat expert
specialising in helping expat kids

For the Expats@Home February newsletter, I asked expat expert, Kate Berger, to share a little about some of the challenges that face expats. She interviewed some local expats from different countries and shared them with us. The result was interesting with issues ranging from how to make friends to ensuring that your retirement plan can sustain you in later life.

Kate Berger offers emotional health services for expatriate children and adolescents in the Amsterdam area through her practice, The Expat Kids Club. Individual and group sessions are offered, and target issues including anxiety, family & peer conficts, and socio/emotional adjustment to non-native lifestyles & cultures. For more information visit http://www.expatkidsclub.com/index.html

If you want to read the article in it's entirety visit the archive. If you want to sign up for future editions of my newsletter visit my website page.