The Path To Now

“Try to perceive the sequence of interests, important friends, coincidences that have occurred in your life. Weren’t they leading you somewhere?” 

The Celestine Prophecy. 

I often believe now, unknown to my younger self, that the path I was on decades ago was one leading me to a life abroad. There were signs, hints and indications in my youth that I was preparing for a life beyond my birth country, that my later life would involve speaking a second language.

The allure of the sights and smells of a foreign land
Photo: Sergi Montaner

My first trip abroad was a family holiday to Tangiers in Morocco. The sound of an unfamiliar language spoken all around me, the rich vivid colours of the North African wedding attire sparkling in the hot evening sun, the enchantment of a music so different to Western pop, the smells of exotic food cooking in the streets all served to pique my curiosity about life beyond the borders of my home land.

At the end of my first year in secondary school I went on my first school trip abroad to La Rochelle. It began my love affair with France. I homed in on French and German for my GCSEs and continued French to A-Level. My love of the French language went beyond the allure of my Liverpudlian French teacher. A school trip to Berlin a year after the wall fell enticed me to be a part of something bigger. Foreign languages were a part of who I was.

When I started looking for a university course I centred my search on a French degree. I eventually picked a European Studies course in Bradford, which led to me studying in Toulouse for a year. I use the term studying lightly. I loved the smell and bustling of the local bakery every morning, loved watching the old man in a beret that shuffled to the local supermarket in his slippers, loved browsing at the snails in the freezer compartment as I did my grocery shop - trying to pluck up the courage to actually try them.

After graduation jobs with companies like Michelin kept me speaking French but as I later settled on a career in Human Resources the need to speak a second language soon dissipated.

Fascinated by the French language at an early age
Photo: Amanda van Mulligen

Did I lean towards foreign languages from an early age because I would eventually need to live my life in a language not my own? Did the family holidays abroad as a teenager to countries like Turkey, Bulgaria, America, Greece and Cyprus ignite a spark for a life abroad, a yearning to see other cultures, how others live?

As a teenager I’d envisioned a life abroad, in France, where I spoke the language and loved the culture. Somewhere along the way I got distracted and forgot where I had been headed. My linguistic mind stayed with me, unused but patiently waiting in the background whilst I strayed from the path I should have been on.

And then one day my brother met an American girl, online, in a chat room. I was clueless. I had no computer of my own and had no idea how you could ‘meet’ someone in a chat room. After what seemed like no time at all he announced he was moving to Long Island and was getting married. One family globetrotter had fled the nest. But my own path kept me firmly rooted in England.

I was finishing my Post Graduate Diploma in Human Resources and needed to write a dissertation. The absence of a computer at home made it hard to make any real progress so I asked Santa Claus for a PC. And lo and behold Santa obliged (disguised as my father) and I became the proud owner of a personal computer. It became an indispensable companion.

One evening, for a reason I can’t remember or can’t imagine when I think back, my brother’s once uttered words, “go try a chat room. It’s fun” popped into my head. I did a search and ended in a chat room talking to a Mexican. I was getting bored when a pop up appeared from another chatter. This time it was a Dutchman. My boredom vanished.

Christmas was approaching, the millennium was closing in and my days were filled with MSN Messenger and emails. After our initial meeting I never entered a chat room again. Online chatting turned into a phone call on New Year’s Eve. Talking on the telephone turned in to visits to each other’s homes.

Seven months later my boss changed at work. She had a reputation of bringing in her own people wherever she went. My business trips planned months ahead were suddenly superfluous and I whispered to my dad that something was afoot. Something bad was looming. He told me I was being paranoid.

Then one evening, sure enough, I was summoned to the dragon’s den. She informed me that my position would end in two months. Walking home with tears streaming down my face I made a call to the Netherlands with my mobile phone. I shared the lowlights of my evening and told my Dutch partner that I needed to find a job fast so that my mortgage didn’t become a problem.

“Or instead of finding a new job there, you could move to the Netherlands…” he said and I could hear the smile on his face.

And suddenly I was back on the path I was destined to walk on.

Expat Life: I'm Changed from the Inside Out

"Nothing is comparable to the new life…in a new country. Though I am still always myself, I am changed to the marrow of my bones" ~ Goethe

I don't think there is a quote that can more accurately sum up the effect expat life has had on me. Of course I am still me, but the person that left England in 2000 seems like a stranger now. I have the feeling that I wouldn't recognise that girl from pre-expat life if I bumped into her in the street. 

Of course I am still me, but my life has changed in more ways than I can count. Consequently who I am has changed too. In more ways than I can count. 

I speak a foreign language every day. I have been through culture shock and come out the other side unscathed but changed. Expat life offered me a new career on a silver platter. There are many things I see today as 'normal' that were completely alien to me a decade ago. I sometimes find it hard to remember I had a pre-expat life. It seems so long ago, so hazy. 

My new environment has changed me, changed how I see things, changed how I think and feel about things. It has changed my daily life. It has changed me from the inside out. To the marrow of my bones.

How has expat life changed you? Have you been changed to the "marrow of your bones" by moving abroad?

Part Me, Part Expat: Authenticity and Expat Life

Many years ago I read an article in the Dutch daily newspaper, the NRC, about how people wear 'masks' according to the situation they find themselves in and who they are with.

In essence, people are only really one hundred percent themselves when they are alone. With a partner most, if not all, of the facades come down. However, when people are amongst strangers a wall goes up, or a mask goes on. We adapt to the group we are with.

It is an article that struck me at the time because I can relate to that idea. I'm an introvert. I'm uncomfortable in unfamiliar situations and that means there are very few people on this planet that know the real me. Becoming an expat made the idea of wearing a mask in some situations even more poignant. I have a British mask, my expat mask, my mother mask, my daughter-in-law mask, my writer mask....... and I'm sure this is just a selection of my mask collection.

It's a topic I have touched upon before in an article for Expat Harem. The very nature of being an expat means adapting. It often means communicating in a foreign language. It means hanging with people you don't know. It means following a steep learning curve. It means starting again. It means taking on parts of a new culture. It means reshaping everything you know and moulding it into a new daily life.

How many masks then does an expat wear? How many versions of ourselves are there? Do expats hide a part of themselves away to blend in with their surroundings? Can we really be truly ourselves and let our personality shine though when we are communicating in a foreign language and wrestling with cultural quirks that feel alien and uncomfortable? Does leaving our friends and family behind mean we leave a little part of who we are elsewhere?

“Authentic human interactions become impossible when you lose yourself in a role.” said Eckhart Tolle. Is expat life at the expense of our own authenticity?

What do you think? Is a part of yourself hidden because you live in a foreign country? Do you feel that you are only part of the person you were back in your home country?

One or Two Languages?

Is the Dutch language
suffering because of
bilingualism?

Following a Radio Netherlands Worldwide article about bilingualism in kids I wrote a blog post on Life with a Double Buggy. The conversation and discussion has been popular on Twitter and on the blog - the short version is that the article reported that the Dutch consultatiebureaus advise parents to teach their children open language only - and therefore do not encourage bilingualism in children here. This goes completely against my own experiences - and that of many others.

Want to join in or read more? Pop over to Life with a Double Buggy and let us know about your experiences. For those in other countries, what do you think about teaching your children two or more languages? 

The Expat Unfriendly Netherlands

Hard to make friends, difficult to learn the local language, fit into the local culture and integrate into the local community. Does this sound like your expat life in the Netherlands?

According to the Expat Explorer Survey carried out for HSBC Bank International the Netherlands placed last out of 25 countries, making it the most expat unfriendly country you could hope for.

Only 36% of expats relocating to the Netherlands find it easy to make friends here and 55% have concerns about the barriers that the local language put up. According to the survey, expats find the Dutch culture hard to fit in to and integrating in to the local community is far from easy here.

The difficulty of making friends in the Netherlands, particularly with the locals, is a common expat forum topic. Learning the language is a common talking point too but for the Netherlands to score so badly on these points did surprise me.

On the other hand, I did feel like shouting  "You see!" to someone who once posted a comment on an article I wrote for the Telegraph. A reader going by the name of "Kingory" commented,

"The Netherlands is about the easiest place in the world to be an expat, the language is really easy if you can hack the pronunciation, English is widely spoken, less than an hour east of London, there are loads of expats there already, and they even have the UK BBC for God's sake!!

Kind of missing the point about trying to integrate I think, but nonetheless you would think that a move to a far flung destination would be tougher than a move to a Western European country.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Have you experienced problems getting your social life on track after moving to the Netherlands? Is the culture too much to adapt to? Do the survey results surprise you or confirm your feelings?

Beating Expat Career Barriers - Ten Top Tips

Photo: Laura Leavell 

To round the expat career series up I would first like to thank the participants who have shared their career stories over the past few weeks. I end the series with a summary of the top ten tips from their stories.

If you are moving or living abroad but want to ensure that your career remains intact in some form or another, here are ten pointers to consider:

1. Think creatively and outside the box. You may need to rethink your career path but with creative thinking you can end up going in a surprising and fun, albeit new, direction. 
2. Assess your current skill set and ask yourself how you can use those skills in your host country, or how you can adapt them to fill a local need. Jo Parfitt's "A Career in Your Suitcase" is a great resource to help with this exercise.
3. Sieze opportunities that come your way - listen to people around you and use your network to identify gaps. Sarah Johnson's career story is a great example of listening to people you meet in the most unlikely of situations.
4. Use the experience you gain as an expat as a basis for your overseas career. Both Nicola McCall and Louise Wiles demonstrate how you can make this happen.
5. Think about retraining or brushing up your skills. There are many long distance learning programs out there to help you.
6. Be realistic about your career options when you move overseas as the barriers can be numerous: recognition of pre-existing qualifications, local language, work permits, local culture, job market, legal requirements. Start your research before you leave home.
7. Make your career portable so that you can take it with you should you relocate.
8. Don't underestimate the support you will need to keep your career on track overseas - check with your partner's employer of they will support any retraining or if there are any local schemes to help you.
9. Build up a network that can point you in the right direction, brainstorm with you and offer you feedback and tips.
10. Stay positive!

The Ins and Outs of Expat Careers: Sarah Johnson and Teaching with a Twist

When her husband got a job with Nike in Hilversum, the Netherlands, Sarah Johnson left her teaching job in the UK to join him just across the North Sea.

For all intents and purposes, Sarah found that a move abroad brought with it the loss of her career. However, Sarah was eventually able to use her core skill set to blow new life into her career abroad. She explains,

"I was a teacher of Modern Languages (French and German) at a secondary school in the UK and now I teach Dutch to adults."

Instead of working in a school, Sarah works privately from her own home. She tells why she chose this route,

"I would never wish to teach in a Dutch school.  Discipline is seen very differently and I therefore never tried to get a job in a school."

To redirect her career, Sarah used her existing teaching skills and concentrated on a niche group; namely foreigners living in her local area in the Netherlands who wanted to learn Dutch. She explains how the idea came about,

Sarah Johnson's expat career took
an unexpected turn
at toddler swimming
Photo: Jeremy Doorten

"It was purely down to a friend asking me - 8 years ago now.  She heard me speaking to some dutch mums whilst we were at toddler swimming and asked me.  I laughed, but then reflected on it and put out feelers to see if anyone would be interested.  My Dutch was fluent, in that I could hold a conversation about anything, but certainly not to the level I can speak nowadays - although I'm still not faultless.  My first student was Spanish, oddly enough, and then my British circle of students started."

What Sarah has pursued is quite unusual. Language teaching abroad typically focusses on teaching your native language to locals, but Sarah has turned that idea on its head to support non-natives to learn the local, foreign language.

There is, as often is the case, a but. Sarah's career abroad has not been straight forward. There has been soul searching and she followed a downward slope before she picked herself up and got back on track.

"When we first moved to the Netherlands I went into customer services briefly until having our first child.  After that, I lost my way and didn’t know how to get back on track. When I hit my all-time low, I decided to write a book about how I was feeling.  Through many twists and turns of fortune, and through taking opportunities when they presented themselves, I found myself teaching Dutch to non-natives," she says.

Sarah started with one student and built up her client base gradually until she was teaching eight lessons a week. And then she took it a step further,

"In August 2009 I formed my company “Building Blocks Multilingual” which is becoming increasingly successful.   Instead of teaching hourly lessons on a weekly basis I am now offering intensive courses, which are proving to be popular.  My aim is to get the language system – Blank Canvas – that I have devised and developed myself, which makes learning languages more straight forward, into schools across the globe.

Sarah Johnson shows that thinking outside the box and making the most of a creative mind and opportunities really can pay off.

Sarah Johnson

Sarah Johnson is a language teacher and the creator of Building Blocks Multilingual. 
You can contact her on 035 623 2746 or on her mobile 06 25 52 30 85 or send her an email at johnsons1 at mac dot com

She blogs her novel under the writer's name of Summer Knight. In her own words, Sarah explains,

"It details the difficulties I encountered in a different country, having lost my career to all intents and purposes.  I try to post a chapter every week: 

http://metamorph2010.wordpress.com/"

The Ins and Outs of Expat Careers: From Human Resources to Writing

This is the first post in the series about expat careers. To kick off the series I thought I would share my expat career experience with you.......

I moved from the UK to the Netherlands in 2000 and at the time I was a Human Resources (HR) professional. I had studied for a Post Graduate Diploma in HR Management and intended to continue practicing HR when I moved abroad.

Within two months I had a new job with a large international company in a HR role. But to start earning again I’d made many compromises. The position was lower than my UK role was, the salary less. It was a temporary role and working through an employment agency.

Despite the number of international companies based in the Randstad in the Netherlands I found that the job market for my niche was relatively small because my Dutch was nowhere near good enough to work in a Dutch company – and that reduced my options considerably.

Feeling insignificant in a big
office block
Photo: Ryan Smart

After years of working on a specific contract in the same company, having been given a permanent, direct contract with the company the project came to an end and I was moved within the organisation to another team. It went downhill from there.  I felt like a number not a valued team member, a face in the crowd. I started reviewing my career options. I needed creativity in my daily work life. I wanted to write for a living but didn’t really see how.

I considered how I could combine HR and writing and then I discovered Jo Parfitt and attended one of her courses. It was the springboard that took my career on a new direction. During the course, Jo made a general statement to the group which stuck with me,

“You can make a career of writing and you can earn well with it. But you need to be passionate about what you are doing.”

I knew I wasn’t passionate about HR anymore. It hadn’t fulfilled any of the hopes I’d had, especially for much of my time in the Netherlands. But I was passionate about writing.

When I went on maternity leave it was the opportunity to take stock and make the change. I never went back to my HR role nor the international company. I set up The Writing Well instead.

The main barrier was financial but my departure from my former HR position left me financially secure for a number of months so I had a safety net – plus the income provided by my husband’s role gave us enough security to support the inevitable drought times.

Setting up a business in the Netherlands turned out to be straight forward, particularly given the nature of my company. I visited my local Kamer van Koophandel (Chamber of Commerce) to register The Writing Well and then registered the company with the Dutch tax office. That was the administration taken care of.

I undertook a web design course with NTI so I was able to design and build my own website for the launch of The Writing Well. And then I began networking and producing articles for various expat websites and publications – for free.


It built up my name and portfolio and then paid work started to steadily flow in.

A while after I started writing, I started a distance learning course at the London School of Journalism to boost my professional skills and keep my personal development going.

For expats wanting to make a move into the world of writing, my advice is this:  choose a niche, know your market and grow your networks.

Working virtually is vital if writing is your chosen
expat career.  Photo: Maripepa

Grow a platform for yourself (or as Anastasia Ashman and Tara Agacayak call it – a global niche). Writing is a great expat career because it is portable. Your clients can live across the other side of the world and it makes no difference so long as you can work virtually in an effective manner. I would also add that you should make the most of distance learning courses.

You do need the support of those around you. My husband enables me to take the time to disappear into my home office and work because he takes on the household and looking after the children. He has motivated and supported me from day one and even before – and takes an active role in decisions I make, and activities I undertake relating to my business. Jo Parfitt has also been a great support over the years – somebody who remembers her network at every possible chance and points clients in the right direction.

To succeed in a career overseas I think you need to be able to effectively network, both virtually and face to face. You need to be passionate about what you are doing and it certainly helps to be creative – to think outside the box. Finally - believe in yourself.

• Useful links for an overseas career in writing:

www.joparfitt.com
London School of Journalism

• Here are just some of the websites that welcome articles which enable you to build a portfolio - 

www.expatica.com

www.expatarrivals.com

www.iamexpat.com

www.expatwomen.com

www.expatexchange.com

And for inspiration to build a creative career doing what you love, no matter where you are visit Tara Agacayak's site - Turquoise Poppy.


Next week Louise Wiles shares her expat career story.

The Ins and Outs of Expat Careers

Photo: Vera Berard

Next Monday a new blog series begins on "A Letter from the Netherlands" about pursuing a career when you live abroad.

Particularly for accompanying partners, and those who move overseas to live with a local, this subject is a thorny one. For some, moving overseas is the perfect opportunity to make a career change and take a risk doing that one thing they always wanted to do. For some an expat life opens up doors. Others find doors slammed hard in their face.

The reasons for being unable to pursue your current career abroad are varied: lack of work permit; qualifications not being recognised; no jobs available in the local arena; cultural differences; legal restrictions; retraining needed; safety reasons; language barriers..... and so it goes on.

But it's certainly not all doom and gloom as our interviewees will reveal. A move overseas is a tremendous career opportunity for those who can think outside the box and put their creative being to work.

Over the coming weeks I will be speaking to a range of expats in different countries about their careers and how a move overseas effected their working lives. They'll share their experiences and give tips and advice and share links and resources that have helped them along their expat career journey.

If you have an expat career story you would like to share, please send a mail to "amanda at thewritingwell dot eu" and I'll let you know how.

On the subject of expat careers, the March edition of the Expats@Home newsletter goes out tomorrow with guest expert Tara Agacayak telling us about creative careers. You can found out more and sign up at http://www.thewritingwell.eu/Newsletter.html.

Book Review: Nederlands English by Alison O'Dornan

A Book for Teaching Bilingual
Children the Alphabet

When I was teaching my eldest son the alphabet I faced a problem that only parents of bilingual children face - the fact that the traditional objects used for each letter don't match in both English and Dutch. What I mean is this:

A is for apple (EN) and appel (NL)
B is for ball (EN) and bal (NL)
C is for cat (EN) and oh.... kat (NL).....

For each letter I drew the object and until I hit C, it was working a charm. At such a young age trying to explain that cat in English is spelt differently to kat in Dutch is difficult to say the least, if not impossible. In fact, there aren't a huge array of typical Dutch words to use for teaching toddlers the alphabet. Finding something that worked in English and Dutch was hard. And I had only reached C.......

"Learning the alphabet in a second language is much easier when the words start with the same letter in both languages" reads the back of Alison O'Dornan's book "Nederlands English". Which, I think, was my thought process a few years ago when I started with my son. This book would have made that process a lot  easier.

I'll let Alison explain how this book came in to being,

"The initial idea was inspired by a young Dutch mother living in the UK, who found it confusing to read either Dutch or English alphabet books with her one year old daughter. At the age of one, children do not distinguish between the two languages but simply learn that an object has two different sounds associated with it.  Hence as they start to learn to recognise letters by associating their shape with a sound, it is important that the item depicted matches the sound of the letter.  So if a child is shown an English alphabet book where “K” is often represented by a picture of a ‘Kite’, then this would be very confusing as it should be “V” for ‘Vlieger’ in Dutch, a very different sound. By carefully picking the objects that we have used for our ABC book we have eliminated this confusion."

The book itself is nicely laid out with the English word and a sentence at the top of the page, a picture of the object in the middle and the Dutch word and text at the bottom of the page. It's the first book in what will be a series with other languages.

It's a great concept and as far as I know it is quite unique. If you're teaching your children a second language from an early age this is a great resource to have. The book is currently being revised and teh new version will be available in the spring - it's worth waiting for the updated edition for an improved read with your children.

For more information and a peek inside the Dutch/English book visit www.Diglotbooks.com